The 1st Annual Pestocratic National Conventionby Northeastern Exterminating on 07/26/16
2016 is a very serious year in pest politics as nature is as its tipping point. As many know the Cimexacrats have been trying to take over the country out of the hands of the long reigning Blattariacrats. The Blattariacrats have been known to been in power since even when the dinosaurs were around. But, since the big Bed Bug Lives Matter movement has taken over in 2010 the bed bugs have been taking over big cities all over this country. Today we will be sharing views of both sides of the parities in this years 1st convention and will let you decide who you will vote for to be the reigning pest of the country.
A few of the Cimexacrats views are:
- The Cimexacrats slogan is to "The Rights Of All Bugs Matter"
- Free blood meals for all First, Second, and Third Instar nymphs.
- Low cost pesticide resistance insurance. (If your pesticide resistance doesn't work the government will pay for your funeral expenses if death if related to a humanity applied pesticide).
- Better human detection security provided by local bed bug government.
- If bed bugs want to hitchhike from other beds, they need to file for membership for the new location or they risk deportation. No more free travel from home to home without penalty.
- Concerned with climate change. If climate change eventually effects their hosts (Humans) then bed bugs will have less opportunity to feed on healthy humans.
- Against any renewable energy. Cimexacrats are more for conservation, prefer no use of lights whatsoever.
A few of the Blattariacrats views are:
- The Blattariacrats Slogan is to "Make Pests Great Again"
- Privately provided meals via Local Supermarkets and big box stores. Not for free meals and believes all Blatariacrats and Cimexacrats should fend for them selves and hunt their own food.
- Against pesticide resistance insurance. The Blatariacrats feel as if the economy shouldn't be drained due to foolish pests being caught in the line of fire of pesticides. Blatariacrats feel as if local education is the way of learning how to avoid pesticides. Government should have no place in education.
- Also against any types of renewable energy. To save local dollars all lights should be kept off or risk a fine. Electricity is a waste of money and hinders proper living conditions.
- National security views are a bit stronger than the Cimexacrats. The Blatariacrats feel as if pests are being slaughtered and we need a line of defense against the humans (Mainly Orkin and Terminix)
The election season is underway and the debates will be shown on your local news channel. Please take a side and support your party. This is a time for big change in the very first annual Pestocratic National Convention. Pest lives are at risk here and its about time they have organized and now have a voice!